Finding Your Individual Therapist: A Beginner’s Guide

If you’re someone who’s interested in seeking therapy but aren’t quite sure of where to start or who to look for, you’ve arrived in the right place. I write this especially for individuals of marginalized communities whom the medical system has repeatedly invalidated, dehumanized, and pathologized throughout history into present day. There are already so many barriers and obstacles to getting mental health support, and I hope that by demystifying this process as much as I can, you can feel more empowered in knowing what your options look like and what steps you can take.  

There are so many therapists out there, and you’ll be able to better narrow down your search if you have an idea of what you’re looking for. I invite you to reflect on the following exploratory questions, and then read more about some of the options that are available for you to consider. There is no single qualifier for the best kind of therapist for you, and there are probably many therapists out there you could do great work with! This is by no means an exhaustive list of considerations but rather a starting point to orient you to your own preferences and needs, and to offer some direction.

1

What brings me to therapy?

Most therapists have areas of focus or clinical specialties. This usually translates to the therapist having more comfort and competence in their specialties from having more education, training, and/or lived experience in those areas. A therapist’s expertise can also evolve over time as they shift the focus of their education and training or have new life experiences that inform their work.

If you’re able to list the concerns, stressors, goals, and/or inner conflicts that are bringing you to therapy, you may find it helpful to search for therapists who are aware, affirming, knowledgeable, and/or experts in those areas.

Of course, simply because a therapist specializes in an area that reflects your situation doesn’t immediately mean they’ll be a good fit for you. The therapeutic relationship is as essential of an ingredient in therapeutic effectiveness as qualifications—perhaps in some cases, even more so. When you feel connected with your therapist, you’re more likely to feel supported and empowered in meeting challenges and making changes. Qualities such as warmth, empathy, and compassion are sensed rather than comprehended. As you read therapist profiles and set up consultation calls, check in with yourself and your body to notice if there’s any feelings of resonance to their words and voice.

2

Is it important to me that my therapist is able to relate to any important identities I have or experiences I’ve gone through? If yes, which ones?

It can be so deeply connecting and healing to be in a safe space with someone who can understand the lived experience of your identity. This is especially true for those who identify as members of marginalized communities and who almost always found themselves in therapy across from White, middle-aged, cisgender, heterosexual, non-disabled men and women. This year was my first time having a therapist who was also Asian and it’s been really affirming. Despite how empathic all of my previous White therapists have been, I don’t feel like they ever truly understood my experiences being raised by Vietnamese refugee parents in the West and how those experiences shaped me.

Whether or not you’re interested in working with a therapist who shares your identities, it can be important to find a therapist who is aware and affirming of unique stressors that can accompany being part of a systemically marginalized group, such as in BIPOC, LGBTQ+, neurodivergent, and polyamorous communities.

3

Do I prefer more structure and directive, or more space to process? Do I prefer to be taught, or to be given space and support to search for answers?

There are so many different styles and theoretical approaches therapists use. Though most of us have a mixed bag of various interventions that we choose from to support each individual client’s needs, our therapeutic style tends to be informed by a foundation of one to several theories. Similar to teachers having different teaching styles, I’m using ‘therapeutic style’ to refer to how a therapist shows up and supports their client.

I’ve noticed that these styles can be loosely divided into two kinds. The first kind of therapist tends to provide more structure, education, and direction through using worksheets or assigning homework to help their clients learn new things and create change. The second kind of therapist tends to emphasize seeking understanding of deeper issues, leaving ample space for processing and exploration, and drawing the client’s attention to patterns that emerge. There is no right or wrong approach, we may need both at different times, and many therapists can deftly provide both as needed to support the client’s process, though I do believe we tend to prefer and default to one more than the other. Personally I’m able to show up for clients at my fullest capacity by holding space, not pretending to have all the answers, and following their emerging process. I know that approach doesn’t work for everyone, and I encourage you to ask your prospective therapist about their approach to therapy and how they support their clients.

4

How much money can I afford to budget for therapy each month? What options are available through my insurance?

Therapy is an investment into your growth, healing, and wellbeing. It can also be expensive and time-consuming, which does not always make it immediately accessible for everyone. If finances are not a barrier to access for you, you can probably skip this section.

Most people first try to find a therapist through their insurance plan if they have coverage for mental health services. That method can be convenient and much more affordable. Some private practice therapists offer sliding scale, and it could be worth looking up sliding scale, low fee, or reduced rate agencies. These services are often provided by pre-licensed therapists who are either in their final year(s) of graduate school or already graduated and accumulating hours to meet their clinical licensing requirements. All pre-licensed therapists work closely with licensed clinical supervisors on all of their cases.

Many therapists choose to not take insurance directly, including me. I can only speak for my own reasons. I find that allowing insurance companies to dictate treatment methods really limits the work that can be done. For example, most insurance companies require therapists to give clients a clinical diagnosis. While they can be helpful for orienting to and planning treatment for common groups of symptoms, diagnoses are often reductionistic—failing to consider individual, environmental, systemic, and historical contexts and nuances—or even inaccurate due to the limitations of what conditions have been funded for research. Not all diagnoses will even qualify for reimbursement. Insurance companies also have the power to request and audit your chart at any time to approve or discontinue treatment coverage.

Private pay therapists may offer a Superbill, a document listing any diagnoses given and services rendered during a designated time period, that you can submit to your insurance for retroactive reimbursement. You can check with your insurance provider about coverage for out-of-network providers, and then ask prospective therapists whether they provide Superbills.

With Telehealth, more options for therapists with accessible fee ranges and flexible scheduling have become available. You can seek out any therapist who is licensed or registered in your state of residence.

at the end of the day,

Remember that you have the right to explore and decide who is the best fit for you! You can ask questions about experience, education, and approach. You’re allowed to change your mind if the first session or a few sessions go by and it’s not feeling like a good fit. The therapist may also offer other referrals if they feel that someone else would be better suited to supporting your unique needs.

It really breaks my heart when I hear folks talk about discouraging experiences they’ve had with past therapists. It can feel especially vulnerable to open up and ask for help for the first time, and we should be taking that seriously. If you’re having questions about finding a therapist or the process of therapy in general, please don’t hesitate to reach out. To help get you started, you can find social justice-oriented, BIPOC, and LGBTQ+ therapist directories here.